“Dark” Interview in the Dark

When a radio interviewer’s first question is: “So, tell me, what are you girls wearing?” you know it’s not a regular day at the office. This is exactly what happened to me and Jackie last night. As soon as we heard his opening gambit, we looked at each other and shook our heads. Promoting our new baseball book (It Takes More Than Balls) often lands us in the most unlikely places.

 

So, this is how it’s going to be, I thought.

 

I was immediately thankful for having had a couple drinks in me. Of course, we handled the onslaught with grace and humor. Growing up with big brothers, we learned how to go toe-to-toe with guys — we’re not afraid to mix it up and can definitely dish it out. This doesn’t mean that we really enjoyed it, especially when coupled with sexual innuendo. Here’s a gem that our host, “Dark Star,” came up with: “Answer me this, ladies: why do women say they want to sleep with you when they don’t really want to ‘sleep?’ You know. They want to do anything but ‘sleep,’ right? So why say you want ‘sleep‘ with someone? Get it? Heh. Heh. Get it?”

 

Yea. We get it.

 

And to think we ducked out of a baseball game for this? And an exciting one, too: It was the bottom of the ninth and the Mariners were trailing the Orioles by one run, none out, with Rauuuuuul Ibanez on first. But we diligently did what our publicist told us to do and that was to call-in to a Minneapolis talk show called “Sports Tonight with Dark Star” at 9:30PM. We went down to the Mariners front office and walked into the Ellis Pavilion, an event space in the stadium where we could have a quiet conversation with our radio host. It was a huge space and a couple stadium workers were sitting in the dark catching the waning moments of the game on one of the TV sets hanging from the ceiling. Jackie and I found a big table in a far corner of the space and turned on the lights.

 

Before the interview the producer got some administrative work out of the way by letting us know that we should call the host, “Dark” instead of “Mr. Star.” … During the course of the interview, which ranged from if we chose the book’s title (we didn’t) to whether we drink beer at games (we do), the Mariners had lost. Then a stadium worker, who probably never knew we were there, turned the lights off on us. Then on. Then off. Then on. Then off. We stifled giggles and were left sitting in total darkness in the back corner of a huge 600-person conference space. We wondered if someone would kick us out (they didn’t) or if we’d be locked in (we weren’t). Or if “Dark” would get excited to learn that we were talking to him while sitting in the dark (likely).

 

We wrapped-up the interview and met our husbands at Hooverville, a bar just south of Safeco Field where they were playing darts. A few more drinks later and my husband and I were in an argument over whether not pinch running for Ibanez in the bottom of the ninth was a bad management decision. It was heated. We’d had drinks. You know the drill.

 

So, how did we answer that first “what are you wearing” question? I wanted to answer “boots.” But it was Jackie who stepped up to the plate: “Well…uh, Dark, we just left the game for this interview and it’s freezing outside. I’m wearing a down jacket.”  And she was. Had our host been on the ball, however, he would have got the real story. That is, what was she wearing underneath?

 

(In the bottom of the 9th, while we were being “interviewed,” our husbands and friends donned the “rally cap!” We miss all the fun! — photo care of Jon Wells)

 

 


Michael_John_Rallycaps.JPG 

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